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Is my child ready for a smartphone? How do we know if our child is ready for a smartphone? Here are some springboard thoughts on discovering if our kids are ready for smartphones.

Does my child have an impulsive nature?

How does my child handle instruction? 

How does my child handle change?

How does my child finish chores, homework, and everyday tasks?

*Answers to these four questions will be a good start to determine whether your child is ready for a smartphone.

If your child is not ready for a smartphone, start with a limited-access technology. A cellular-connected watch may be a good first step forward in the process toward a smartphone. “A smartwatch is a great first step,” says Divya Dodhia, LCSW, a child and family therapist in Jersey City, New Jersey. “It has a smaller reach, and parents have more control over how and what it’s used for. Plus, there’s a GPS tracker in it, so you know exactly where your kid is, and they can communicate with you, but not with anyone you don’t allow access to.”¹

Some smartphones are designed with limited connectivity for more parental control. There are now not-so-smartphones, with more restricted access and technology, explicitly meant for kid communication without all the bells and whistles. Some, like the Samsung-based Troomi, offer a Kidsafe Browser option. Others, like the Android-based Gabb, have no browser and filters for texting and apps, plus additional built-in parental controls.² Bark USA³ also has a new phone for limited smartphone use for children and teens.

Software is available for parental control of smartphones. Bark, Canopy, and Mobicip are just three companies that provide third-party software at a monthly fee for more parental controls.

The National Center of Thought Life has spoken with parents about their struggles with technology and their kids. The items below are not exhaustive, but they are a general start to walking with our kids since it is nighttime, and we’re walking through the electronic stone of technology day and night. Stay with your kids, don’t leave them alone in the dark park of technology.

1. No smartphone until age 16 (18?).
   • We have lived without a phone, and we were okay. Your kids will be alright, too. Not all of your children will do well with a phone. Giving some kids a phone will be a perpetual ticket to the movies, the gambling booth, and the so-called “gentleman’s show (XXX),” and access to a global world of trading information. 

A man told me that he got his 12-year-old a phone, and that first night, the girl was on porn sites and social communicating with a gay person in Los Angeles, all in 39 minutes after handing the phone to his daughter. We have all experienced similar wrong opportunities with our phones. It will be a quick surf to the wrong places for our children once the phone is in their hands.
Phones can have significant benefits if used correctly. GPS and immediate communication are two of the few. In God’s definition, Smartphones are called “smart” only because smart people use them godly and productively. Don’t hand your children pocket knives without careful instructions and personal, continual oversight. The same issue applies to phones and with a much more serious consequence. Physical wounds heal. Mental wounds may not.
Holding back phone usage for certain types of kids may be less troublesome than the pushback you’ll receive from your child and others because your child doesn’t have a phone yet.

Does your child desire a smartphone? Have them write an essay to you about why they need it. Ask them also to explain how they would use it and what limits they need to have. It is better to start with clarity than handing them a phone without expectations and limitations. After all, for our children, this is good practice for applying for jobs and various writing needs in the future for that upcoming end-stage launch into the world without you.

No social media until age 16 (at least—18?).
Social media can be great, but it must be used for good communication, not public bullying, smack-talking, and protesting each person’s views, character, and values.
It is time for a smartphone. Determining whether your children are ready for technology is not a matter of a quick glance. If you have decided your child is ready for a smartphone, there should be a good understanding between parent and child. Creating a smartphone contract between you and your teen is an effective way to teach your child about these responsibilities and the consequences of owning electronics, adhering to family rules, and using technology responsibly. There are many ideas and opinions among parents about when children should get a smartphone. It is up to you and your family. Choose wisely

The National Center for Thought Life (NCFTL), after much experience and study with technology and the brains of children, believes that age 12-14 is the first-starting age range for a phone with no internet or social media.

In this age range, kids do not need to keep their phones when they don’t need them. This is a reasonable two-year timeframe to set standards with limited phone access and to lock it down to a specific number of phone numbers. Children ages 12-14 only need parents and grandparents, and trusted calls from outside their parents. This will be just five numbers at the most on the kids’ phones. Pew Research surveyed parents’ thoughts about this phone and age issue (see image 5.14).

When a smartphone is entrusted to your children, sit down and agree in writing with them.

Let them speak about your family and technology. But you will not provide much. There’s not much to give. This is serious. Smartphones are serious. Smartphones connect us to a serious, severe world. This is Yellowstone at night; we’re in electronic-stone. It’s a great place and fun but can be very dangerous.

Start with an actual paper agreement. Please have your child write their name (type their name below the signature line in the agreement). Make it actually like the agreements you have signed. Please don’t make it too simple. Give some meat and volume to it. This will also be good teaching for their end-stage launch into adulthood when they buy a house and sign other contracts. Teach along this path.
*In …Fix Your Family, we use cell phones and smartphones as one device. If we say one, it also means the other.

5.14 – PARENTING CHILDREN IN THE AGE OF SCREENS.”Pew Research Center, Washington, D.C. (JULY 28, 2020) https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/07/28/parents-attitudes-and-experiences-related-to-digital-technology

It is up to you and your family. 

1. The National Center for Thought Life (NCFTL), after much experience and study with technology and the brains of children, believes that age 12-14 is the first-starting age range for a phone with no internet or social media.
   • In this age range, kids do not need to keep their phones when they don’t need them.
   • This is a reasonable two years time frame to set standards with limited access to the phone and have it lock down to only a certain number of phone numbers.
   • Children 12-14 only need parents and grandparents and trusted calls from other than parents. This will be just five numbers at the most in the kids phone. 
   • Pew Research surveyed parents’ thoughts about this phone and age issue (see image 5.14). 
   • When a smartphone is trusted and given to your children, sit down and agree on paper with your children. Let them speak about your family and technology. But you will not provide much. There’s not much to give. This is serious. Smartphones are serious. Smartphones connect us to a serious, severe world. This is Yellowstone at night; we’re in electronic-stone. It’s a great place and fun but can be very dangerous.
2. Start with an actual paper agreement. Please have your child write their name (type their name below the signature line in the agreement). Make it actually like the agreements you have signed. Please don’t make it too simple. Give some meat and volume to it. This will also be good teaching for their end-stage launch into adulthood when they buy a house and sign other contracts.  Teach along this path.
3. *In …Fix Your Family, we use cell phones and smartphones as one device. If we say one, it also means the other

Excerpt from FIX Your Eyes, FIX Your Family, Chapter Five, Applified: Revolution of Smart Apps. Purchase FYE resources, click the logo